As funeral directors, we often have people say to us, 'I never want to experience a death or funeral'. But unfortunately, it's something that all of us will experience one day - whether it's our own or the funeral of someone close to us.
In our role, we like to help people feel more comfortable around the idea of death. We totally understand that death and the resulting grief are never easy things to deal with, but it's something that everyone should learn more about and grow from their personal experience with it.
For many people, it's the day of the funeral that gets them. After a week or two of finding out someone has died and making all the arrangements, the day of the funeral is like the final farewell and is often when it all hits home.
So, let's explore how you can start to talk more freely about death and cope with the entire 'death experience'.
Yes, we know this isn't a normal conversation to have around the dinner table (by society's standards that is), but openly discussing your ideas can help your family when you eventually pass (whether it's expected or not).
Let them know what you'd like to happen. For example, have a list of songs ready to go, a location is chosen, and an idea of what you'd like to happen (e.g. burial or cremation).
At first, they may find it weird. But trust us, if something happens to you, they are going to be so thankful you let them know what you wanted as they'll find planning your funeral a little less stressful.
For this reason, many people choose to pre-plan a funeral so that when the time comes, their family can grieve without any additional financial or emotional stress.
It's a weird concept that you'll never physically see someone again. That can take some time to get your head around.
As Melbourne funeral directors, we encourage our families to view the funeral as a celebration of their loved one's life.
Funerals don't have to be all sad and morbid with everyone dressed in black. Some of the best funerals we have arranged are full of colour, country music and even a truck being used as the transport vehicle (he enjoyed his last ride!).
When your family gathers following a death, talk about all the good times you've had, share a laugh and say cheers! You've probably heard this before, but your loved one wouldn't want you feeling overwhelming sadness from their death. Yes, you'll need to grieve and learn how to cope with it but know that when you celebrate life, you'll cherish all their memories and find each day gets a little easier.
The thing people often fear most about death is uncertainty - what happens when you die, who sees your body, how will my family see me?
At Brember Family Funerals, our funeral directors are here to answer any questions you have about death and to make it a little less daunting for you. We're open to any questions and here for you in your time of need.
When we bring a deceased person into our care, they are treated with the utmost respect and dignity at all times. Although their soul may have left their body, they still deserve kindness and to be treated as an individual.
We ensure all those in our care are prepared with dignity and we often speak to them as we're getting them ready for their funeral. You don't need to feel like they're alone as we're with them while they're in our care.
On the day of the funeral, your loved one will be transported to your venue of choice. As your funeral directors, we will be there beforehand and have your loved one waiting. Some people have a private viewing prior to the service.
Your funeral director will meet those attending the funeral and direct them to sign a registry (if you've selected this) or to the room the funeral service is being held in. Once everyone is ready, the funeral service will begin, with the celebrant and funeral directors making sure the service runs to plan.
When the service ends, you will either follow the hearse to a gravesite or say your goodbyes while we transport your loved one to the cremation. If you've arranged to view the cremation, your funeral director will let you know where to go to follow them.
The rest of the day is then yours to celebrate your loved one's life with your family and friends.
Our role as funeral directors is to help you have a good experience when it comes to planning a funeral. We aim to banish the stigma of talking about death and encourage you to see a funeral as a celebration of life.
You should never be scared to ask questions as trust us, we've heard lots and they're probably things you're thinking too!
When we help you arrange a funeral, don't be shy. Talk to us, ask us questions and know that we're here to help you deal with death in the best possible way.
It's inevitable that one day, all of us will pass away. And for many people, it's something that's not spoken about freely. But it should be!
Death is part of our life cycle and deep down, we all know it will one day be our turn.
That's why pre-planning a funeral is a brilliant idea.
Your family will naturally be grieving when you pass, so their heightened emotions can often make planning a funeral a tough task. As funeral directors, we see this daily, and although we are on hand to help, we often hear people question, 'Is this what they'd want?'.
When you pre-plan your funeral, you're taking away any guesswork for your family members and leaving them with clear instructions on how you'd want your funeral to run. Plus, if you've pre-paid for your funeral, you're taking away the financial burden that many families face when planning a funeral.
If you've pre-paid your funeral, your family won't need to find the funds for your funeral. We've seen families in turmoil as they want to give their loved one the best farewell possible, but are unsure of how to pay for it. When your funeral is pre-paid, you'll ease some stress on your family during this difficult time. At Brember Family Funerals, we offer either full up-front pre-paid funerals or the option of paying regular instalments into a Funeral Bond Plan. You can find out more information here.
You can start planning your funeral at any age, regardless of your health and current situation. When you arrange a pre-paid funeral, the funds are held in an independent trust account until the time of your death (so you can rest easy knowing your funds are safe). You can also start paying a payment plan at any stage. If you pass before you've paid the entire amount, your family will only need to cover the remaining portion that's required.
If you have ideas on how you want your funeral to run, you can plan this with your funeral director. You can decide on where you want your service held (church, chapel etc.), the music you'd like, if you'd like to be buried (and where) or cremated (and what to do with your ashes) and more. This means your family have a set funeral arranged when you pass so all they'd need to consider are things like writing an eulogy, flowers etc.
If you'd like to pre-plan your funeral, chat with our friendly team of Melbourne funeral directors at Brember Family Funerals. We have over 35 years of experience in the funeral industry and have helped thousands of Melbourne families to plan memorable and dignified funerals.
All your funds for your pre-planned funeral are held in independent trust accounts, so you know the money is safe and will be used specifically for your funeral costs when you pass. Also, if you're pre-paying your funeral in instalments and your circumstances change, you can stop the payments at any stage. The money already in that account will be held securely until needed.
So, to ease the emotional and financial burden on your family when you pass, arrange your funeral today with the exceptional team at Brember Family Funerals.
When someone dies, it's usually left to the next of kin or the executor to notify various companies about the death of their loved one.
At first, this may seem like a daunting task and something you don't want to be doing right now.
But, take it step by step and you'll slowly work your way through all the companies you'll need to notify.
Once you've received the death certificate, you can start making your phone calls.
If you've got any questions about arranging a funeral, the highly experienced Melbourne Funeral Directors at Brember Family Funerals are here to help you. Our caring team are with you every step of the way and guides you on the steps you need to take before, during and after the funeral of your loved one. Call us today.
You'll find your funeral director should take care of every detail for you. From the time death occurs, your chosen funeral director can step in and start arranging the initial steps like transporting your loved one into their care.
From there, they will care for your loved one, respectfully preparing their body with dignity and kindness.
Next, they'll be in contact to arrange a time to start preparing the funeral plans. You won't need to worry about all the finer details as your funeral director will be there to guide you through the planning process.
Listening to your needs, your funeral director should be able to accommodate any requests you have. Often your loved one may have discussed ideas with you and your funeral director should go above and beyond to try and make your funeral a celebration of life in the unique way you ask.
A funeral director, regardless of their own race or religion, should be able to accommodate any cultural beliefs that you need to observe. They are not prejudiced and should be open to attending any church, chapel or cultural centre that you request.
And finally, a decent funeral director will offer you a range of pricing options and be transparent about what's included in their packages. There's nothing worse than hidden costs that come up leaving families struggling to find the extra costs to cover a funeral. Make sure you have all the costs laid out so you can make an informed decision.
When you're looking for a funeral director, here are some more options to keep in mind:
Ask - do they:
If you've made a shortlist, or you've already decided who you want as your funeral director, the first step is to speak with them in person. After an initial phone call, many funeral directors will arrange a time to meet in person, whether it's at your home or their premises. It's when you speak with a funeral director that you clearly see if they'll be the right fit for you and your family.
You can see if they're listening to you, showing you compassion and understanding what you're going through (rather than just doing a hard sell on an expensive funeral package).
Handy hint: With everyone being online these days, it's a great idea to read Google reviews or testimonials about your chosen funeral director or funeral home. If a funeral director has performed badly, they will get bad reviews as they would have caused the person even more distress than what they had. Look for highly rated, 5-star companies as you know you can trust them to care for you and your loved one.
Our team of highly experienced, caring and compassionate funeral directors understand you're dealing with pain and grief at this difficult time. That's why we're here for you and you can trust that we know what to do.
Call us today, have a chat and let's see if together, we can create a memorable funeral that perfectly celebrates your loved one's life.
Losing a person you loved or were close to is never easy. You'll experience a range of emotions, including grief.
Grief is a natural response to a loss. And how you deal with grief will be unique to you. How you deal with your grief before, during and after a funeral may differ from others around you. You should never compare how you're feeling to anyone else, as you'll find your grief can be affected by many other factors in your life.
Understanding how you grieve is important so you learn how to deal with it, acknowledge it and slowly work through it. If you don't learn how to deal with your grief, you'll find it may become unhealthy long-term and consume you.
When you learn how to express your grief honestly, you'll find it will lead to healing, and you'll once again find your strength to pick up and keep living.
When you first lose your loved one, all the emotions running through your body may feel overwhelming and confusing. Many people describe grief as having an avalanche of feelings all in one day, including:
The biggest factor to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to feel. And, there's no particular order of feelings - you may experience them all at once, one at a time, or not all of them.
Your grief will depend on your resilience, your relationship with the deceased, and your awareness to understand how you're feeling and deal with the emotions.
When you're dealing with grief, your entire body is put under a lot of pressure. While you're feeling a range of emotions, your physical health may also be taking a hit. Many people experience a general feeling of being 'unwell'.
For some, they forget to do the basic day-to-day things such as eating, so their body starts to be deprived of all essential nutrients for functioning. And while your brain is working overtime dealing with the grief, it should be kept well nourished.
Others experience exhaustion which comes again from a lack of food or lack of sleep.
It's highly recommended that if you feel yourself becoming rundown and unable to cope, to see your local family doctor. They'll be able to talk to you about dealing with grief and can often prescribe medication to help you sleep or to boost your immunity through vitamins and minerals.
If you're in the raw, initial stages of grief, you may feel there's no way out. But keep moving forward day by day. You'll find that although you'll never forget about your loved one and have times when it may still affect you, you'll slowly learn how to deal with the overwhelming emotions that grief can bring.
Take each day as it comes, reach out to those around you and know that you've got it within you to work your way through.
As a funeral director, we're here to listen to you. Never be afraid to let it all out in front of us. Sometimes, you'll find a lot of your emotions will come out when you're planning the funeral. Whether it's anger or love or any emotion in between, we've seen it all. Some people start the funeral planning process in tears, then end up with smiles as they remember all the fun parts of their loved one's life they'll include in the funeral service.
We're here to support you through the grieving process as much as we are here to help you plan the best celebration of your loved one's life. We also know some fantastic counsellors who we'd be happy to refer you to.
Contact us today for funeral planning assistance or to ask us about who to contact to help you deal with your grief.