Why You Can’t and Shouldn’t ‘Get Over’ Loss

March 6, 2020

While the initial emotions following a loss may soften, they never really leave us. These emotions can be brought up by anything from a birthday or anniversary of a death, to an activity that you shared with the person you lost. While the first time may feel like a huge wave that crashes over us and threatens to keep us under, over time the waves get smaller and smaller.

So how do we deal with grief? The answer is in the question. We need to embrace these emotions instead of burying them. While these triggers may bring those feelings of loss, they also bring the memories of times shared with those we loved.

Even so, what most people do with grief is an attempt to forget–to get over it–which is quite contrary to the purpose of the emotion. Rather than try to forget, one must attempt to remember and accept what the emotion is trying to convey.

By not ignoring these emotions, we also gain perspective on the state of our health. While it is clearly unhealthy to try and stifle emotions, if we are open and honest with ourselves we can determine if there is something more we need. Facing these feelings can tell us if we need help dealing with them, either with grief counsellors or a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Grief is a lifelong experience that stays with us for as long as the memory of the loss does.