As funeral directors, we often have people say to us, 'I never want to experience a death or funeral'. But unfortunately, it's something that all of us will experience one day - whether it's our own or the funeral of someone close to us.
In our role, we like to help people feel more comfortable around the idea of death. We totally understand that death and the resulting grief are never easy things to deal with, but it's something that everyone should learn more about and grow from their personal experience with it.
For many people, it's the day of the funeral that gets them. After a week or two of finding out someone has died and making all the arrangements, the day of the funeral is like the final farewell and is often when it all hits home.
So, let's explore how you can start to talk more freely about death and cope with the entire 'death experience'.
Yes, we know this isn't a normal conversation to have around the dinner table (by society's standards that is), but openly discussing your ideas can help your family when you eventually pass (whether it's expected or not).
Let them know what you'd like to happen. For example, have a list of songs ready to go, a location is chosen, and an idea of what you'd like to happen (e.g. burial or cremation).
At first, they may find it weird. But trust us, if something happens to you, they are going to be so thankful you let them know what you wanted as they'll find planning your funeral a little less stressful.
For this reason, many people choose to pre-plan a funeral so that when the time comes, their family can grieve without any additional financial or emotional stress.
It's a weird concept that you'll never physically see someone again. That can take some time to get your head around.
As Melbourne funeral directors, we encourage our families to view the funeral as a celebration of their loved one's life.
Funerals don't have to be all sad and morbid with everyone dressed in black. Some of the best funerals we have arranged are full of colour, country music and even a truck being used as the transport vehicle (he enjoyed his last ride!).
When your family gathers following a death, talk about all the good times you've had, share a laugh and say cheers! You've probably heard this before, but your loved one wouldn't want you feeling overwhelming sadness from their death. Yes, you'll need to grieve and learn how to cope with it but know that when you celebrate life, you'll cherish all their memories and find each day gets a little easier.
The thing people often fear most about death is uncertainty - what happens when you die, who sees your body, how will my family see me?
At Brember Family Funerals, our funeral directors are here to answer any questions you have about death and to make it a little less daunting for you. We're open to any questions and here for you in your time of need.
When we bring a deceased person into our care, they are treated with the utmost respect and dignity at all times. Although their soul may have left their body, they still deserve kindness and to be treated as an individual.
We ensure all those in our care are prepared with dignity and we often speak to them as we're getting them ready for their funeral. You don't need to feel like they're alone as we're with them while they're in our care.
On the day of the funeral, your loved one will be transported to your venue of choice. As your funeral directors, we will be there beforehand and have your loved one waiting. Some people have a private viewing prior to the service.
Your funeral director will meet those attending the funeral and direct them to sign a registry (if you've selected this) or to the room the funeral service is being held in. Once everyone is ready, the funeral service will begin, with the celebrant and funeral directors making sure the service runs to plan.
When the service ends, you will either follow the hearse to a gravesite or say your goodbyes while we transport your loved one to the cremation. If you've arranged to view the cremation, your funeral director will let you know where to go to follow them.
The rest of the day is then yours to celebrate your loved one's life with your family and friends.
Our role as funeral directors is to help you have a good experience when it comes to planning a funeral. We aim to banish the stigma of talking about death and encourage you to see a funeral as a celebration of life.
You should never be scared to ask questions as trust us, we've heard lots and they're probably things you're thinking too!
When we help you arrange a funeral, don't be shy. Talk to us, ask us questions and know that we're here to help you deal with death in the best possible way.