Dealing with grief when someone dies

How to deal with grief when someone dies.

Losing a person you loved or were close to is never easy. You'll experience a range of emotions, including grief.

Grief is a natural response to a loss. And how you deal with grief will be unique to you. How you deal with your grief before, during and after a funeral may differ from others around you. You should never compare how you're feeling to anyone else, as you'll find your grief can be affected by many other factors in your life.

Understanding how you grieve is important so you learn how to deal with it, acknowledge it and slowly work through it. If you don't learn how to deal with your grief, you'll find it may become unhealthy long-term and consume you.

When you learn how to express your grief honestly, you'll find it will lead to healing, and you'll once again find your strength to pick up and keep living.

The first stage of grief you'll experience when a loved one dies:

When you first lose your loved one, all the emotions running through your body may feel overwhelming and confusing. Many people describe grief as having an avalanche of feelings all in one day, including:

Shock
Disbelief
Anger
Deep sadness
Fear
Guilt
Relief

The biggest factor to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to feel. And, there's no particular order of feelings - you may experience them all at once, one at a time, or not all of them.

Your grief will depend on your resilience, your relationship with the deceased, and your awareness to understand how you're feeling and deal with the emotions.

Grief is not always connected with feelings alone.

When you're dealing with grief, your entire body is put under a lot of pressure. While you're feeling a range of emotions, your physical health may also be taking a hit. Many people experience a general feeling of being 'unwell'.

For some, they forget to do the basic day-to-day things such as eating, so their body starts to be deprived of all essential nutrients for functioning. And while your brain is working overtime dealing with the grief, it should be kept well nourished.

Others experience exhaustion which comes again from a lack of food or lack of sleep.

It's highly recommended that if you feel yourself becoming rundown and unable to cope, to see your local family doctor. They'll be able to talk to you about dealing with grief and can often prescribe medication to help you sleep or to boost your immunity through vitamins and minerals.

Does dealing with grief get easier?

If you're in the raw, initial stages of grief, you may feel there's no way out. But keep moving forward day by day. You'll find that although you'll never forget about your loved one and have times when it may still affect you, you'll slowly learn how to deal with the overwhelming emotions that grief can bring.

Take each day as it comes, reach out to those around you and know that you've got it within you to work your way through.

The role of a funeral director when dealing with grief.

As a funeral director, we're here to listen to you. Never be afraid to let it all out in front of us. Sometimes, you'll find a lot of your emotions will come out when you're planning the funeral. Whether it's anger or love or any emotion in between, we've seen it all. Some people start the funeral planning process in tears, then end up with smiles as they remember all the fun parts of their loved one's life they'll include in the funeral service.

We're here to support you through the grieving process as much as we are here to help you plan the best celebration of your loved one's life. We also know some fantastic counsellors who we'd be happy to refer you to.